


You'll never get a second chance Plan all your moves in advance

by Heartofhubris



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Gen, Reflection, Regret, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 13:07:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30106434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heartofhubris/pseuds/Heartofhubris
Summary: He’d made sure that the kids were alright, settled back into their room with no current complaints. He knew what they’d gone through, his brother and he had done the same thing when they were around the kid’s age. It hadn’t ended with anything other than Staley sleeping on the sofa for about twenty minutes until He’d gotten back into their bunk bed, Stanford wishing him a good night.
Relationships: Dipper Pines & Ford Pines & Mabel Pines & Stan Pines, Dipper Pines & Stan Pines, Ford Pines & Stan Pines, Mabel Pines & Stan Pines
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	You'll never get a second chance Plan all your moves in advance

He’d made sure that the kids were alright, settled back into their room with no current complaints. He knew what they’d gone through, his brother and he had done the same thing when they were around the kid’s age. It hadn’t ended with anything other than Staley sleeping on the sofa for about twenty minutes until He’d gotten back into their bunk bed, Stanford wishing him a good night. 

He closed the door to the kid’s room, the air in the hallway heavier than what he’d expected. The weight of the world once again fell onto his shoulders, like Atlas receiving the sky. Every step to the newly found room dug another spike into his back, the emotional pain worse than it had been in a while. 

He’d boarded up the door years ago to avoid this exact feeling. Not to mention, his brother had just enough weird things in his house that he didn’t want to try his luck in his brother’s room. 

Every flake of dust, every flicker of the old lightbulb brought memories back between the two of them. He loved his brother, and this just reminded him how many years had passed. His eyes scanned the room, ending on the bed. He knew his brother rarely used it, by the books still on it, the random papers and was that a screwdriver? More times than they could count, but not enough for what he should’ve done. He knew that the couch was more likely his normal target. 

He could almost feel his brother’s presence in the room was him. He wasn’t even sure if he was alive or dead at this point, the decades having passed much longer than he’d expected. Of course, he’d also expected to have the portal back up and running by now. 

And himself to be back on the streets, if he was totally honest. 

He sat down on the sofa, more dust flying up around him. Ford would probably need a new sofa by the time he got back. Stanley could swear that he smelled a little bit of Ford in the air, but that may just be wistful thinking. More pressing was the smell of wood and pine. He was losing the last items he had that were his brother’s. He pulled the glasses out of his coat pocket, looking at the lenses. He felt a wave of guilt as he saw his reflection against the lens. 

The next breath he managed hurt worse than any of the bullets that he’d felt though his skin when he was a younger man. Those at least were an easy fix; some splashed liquor, and a threaded bit of floss. 

He could feel the burn on his back, pulsing with his heart beat. He didn’t even realize how much he was crying until he felt the tears like knives on his cheeks. It was nearly impossible for him to stop, once he started. Years of guilt started to flood him, and his breathing became choppy. 

There was no way he would be forgiven for this. He normally could hold out hope; perhaps he would manage it randomly one night, but with only one journal, he was nearly hopeless. He had no idea just how to even find the journals, with how well Ford had managed to hide them. As always, Ford was too smart for his own good. 

Not to mention that this was all his own fault. For would never give a thought to forgiveness, no matter how much groveling Stan could manage. The one journal he did have was at such an elevated level that he couldn’t even comprehend half of what he tried to take in. 

This time, the sob wasn’t even held in. He’d closed the door, and the kids were most likely asleep at this point. He didn’t know what would happen if his brother didn’t forgive him. He was an old man at this point, and he couldn’t manage to find a new life too easily. 

Yet, once the first sob was out, he couldn’t hold in his cries. Every new wave was too much, crashing over his soul and body. His face was soon covered by his hands, trying to keep his cries inside. He couldn’t hold the sobs back anymore. 

The first time he and ford separated, he could handle it. He knew that it was the penance for his previous actions. Stanley could’ve rectified his actions, owned up and Ford could’ve taken the night to fix his machine. He had ruined Ford’s career in just a moment, before it had even started. Only because he was jealous, and scared. Because he’d wanted to travel the world with his brother. Ford was smart enough to have recovered, at least. 

But he still had the scar from the second time he had ruined his brother’s life. He still regretted everything that happened. His hand clapped over his lips, then. He was trying to keep the pain inside, and make sure that the kids didn’t wake up. 

He’d always counted on his brother, whenever he was in a pinch. He had been sure that even if they didn’t travel the world, they’d have stayed close, getting married, and making their own lives, being a part of each other’s kids lives, everything. He had tried his best to be realistic as they’d moved closer and closer to eighteen, but the one thing that Stan was actually good at was ruining every relationship he’d ever had. He couldn’t even imagine seeing Mabel’s face as the love she held for him would drain awa. That had to be inevitable, if nothing else. He wasn’t sure how Mabel could still love him after everything would go down. 

It was only a matter of time before he figured out what was going on, or so he hoped. He didn’t even know how many journals there were, but fuck if he wasn’t going to try and do what he could now. He wasn’t even certain if the kids, or anyone, would trust him when the time came and the portal was once again open.

Even if he managed to get Ford back, Dipperwould become enamoured with his other great uncle. Which would be inevitable; Dipper was going to hear just a few of the stories Ford had managed, and instantly want to hear everything. It was inevitable that the two would end up spending time together and discuss some nerd things together. Stanley knew that he wasn’t, nor was he ever going to be, anyone’s favourite. As soon as his brother was back, he knew he’d be on the curb within hours. It was his goal to have his bags packed that night. Always ready to run. 

Even still, he had no guarantee that his brother would end up forgiving him. He had no clue if there would be a fight, if there would be forgiveness, or if Ford would even be the one coming out of the portal. He was the reason the shack got paid off, but he wouldn’t demand the mystery shack. He was going to be lost without his job, or his house, but he knew Ford would want his house back. 

Hopefully the kids would still be allowed to stay at the house for the rest of the summer, until their parents wanted them back. 

But Stanley knew that he wasn’t going to be able to come back from this. He wasn’t going to find a way to his happiness, or even shelter. Perhaps it was morbid to think of, but he knew what was the truth with him. 

He knew he’d already lost everything important to him, but fuck if he wasn’t going to try and enjoy every last second of the moments he had. Every second with his niece and nephew was going to be treasured for years. After all, he was only going to receive a few moments of positivity when his brother came back before everything came crashing down. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you leave any shippy comments on this I'll kill you then myself


End file.
